Maybe I'll start using this again.
Still thinking about it, or perhaps starting another blog elsewhere.
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Maybe I'll start using this again.
An idea, that I had:
I have to use a sharepoint site for work, which sadly runs on IE only. IE's default page is MSN of course, and a link caught my eye this morning while I was checking out my schedule. It asked, "What should I do with my old computer?"
Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and fame.
Oops, I accidentally typed this number and I have no idea what it could possibly mean.
I have gone entirely too long without posting anything, I blame it on my new incredibly boring weekdays.
The Apostrophe's function is not plurality but possession.
"I'm not sure, but I think Mormon dissolves in alcohol"post a comment
It's been quite a long time since I've posted anything, and for that I apologize and I assure you that I have a very good reason for my prolonged absence. You see a small frontier town was in danger due to some rich industrialists who planned to destroy the it and enslave its people in order to mine for precious minerals and the only thing standing in their way was me, my sword, and my trusty steed. I also seduced various highly-attractive Latin women with my well-timed wit and charm in the process.Edit:Correction, this is just plot to the movie Zorro. Sorry about the confusion.
At any rate, now that things have settled down I should be posting with relative frequency once again, and rest assured that none of the posts will have anything to do with knitting. (That's funny if you know the conveniently omitted backstory)
On a serious note, I would like to share with all of you a newfound contempt that I have for cloth-towel hand dryers in public bathrooms. We happen to have one of these bastard things in our restroom at work and it's a daily source of irritation. I'm sure you have seen these infernal devices before, and you probably hate them too. They are the machines that instead of dispensing paper towels, or a blast of hot air, they have a loop of actual cloth towel that you're expected to pull down and wipe your hands on. Not only is it less effective than the other devices, its capacity for total hands dried before it needs a refill is about a quarter (or less) than that of a paper dispenser.
I'm not entirely sure why a device of such awful design would exist in the first place, but I'm fairly certain that it's for one of two reasons: A misguided attempt at preserving the environment by using ten times as much energy to clean and replace the used towels as a hot air dryer -OR- This style of dryer is slightly cheaper than the other two. Sadly enough I'm pretty sure it's the latter.
Not that my hate for these machines was by any small degree unjustified before; now that I've had a chance to examine one of these machines a little closer I've learned that my feelings are even more appropriate than I'd have ever thought. Why, you ask? Because this "eco-friendly" alternative to other drying methods can be lethal.
I'm serious, it says so right on a placard that you can't see unless the machine is out of towels er, towel.Straight from the machine itself:
That's right, apparently if you don't feed the machine correctly, the machine will kill your ass. The warning also explains that an improperly loaded machine can lead to intentional mis-use, especially by children. From this I glean that while this machine will indiscriminately kill, it craves the taste of children specifically. Like some sort of wall-mounted angler fish, it dangles its enticingly dangerous looking lure (children are irresistibly attracted to anything that looks dangerous) which it uses to entangle and subsequently devour its prey. The warnings don't end there, further down the placard it warns:
This is perhaps even more concerning than the first warning. Why is it dangerous? If I try to dry something else with it, does it malfunction? It can't possibly be that it doesn't dry other parts sufficiently because it already doesn't dry hands very well, and as for faces I'm not putting my face anywhere near that nasty reused towel, god knows what the last guy wiped on it. (From the sound of it, it's no longer attached to him).
The placard also shows a diagram of how the device works and shows the path the towel must take through the inside. I've done you the service of reproducing that diagram as a side-by-side comparison with with a diagram of a standard paper towel dispenser:
Fig.1 Traditional Dispenser (Left); "Orphan-Maker" (Right)
As you can see, the towel dispenser on the left has one moving part, paper towels. The machine on the right however, has cogs, pins, rollers, bearings, and quite possibly a central nervous system. It seems like an awfully complex machine just to get hands not very dry which leads me to ponder the possibility that the lethal consequences of mis-loading the machine might not be a coincidence.
Imagine if you will, a radical environmentalist plot to save the ecosystem not by reducing paper waste, but by wasting all the humans! Don't laugh, it's not all that far-fetched. I mean if you listen to people like George Bush or Pat Robertson and actually believe anything either of them say, you've already bought into things far more insane than this. In fact, Pat Robertson just recently explained on the CBN "news" site how environmentalism is a sin, slash and burn economics is the will of God, and that Mr. Robertson's support of big-oil companies has nothing to do with his investment portfolio.
Surely, if these environmentalist cretins are willing to go against God's chosen industry so brazenly, they would be evil enough to secretly develop a murderous towel dispenser aimed at wiping out man-kind before Jesus has a chance to come back... and do the exact same thing, only with more fire and molten sulfur. Believe what you will. As for me, I'll just be wiping my hands on my pants; just in case.5 comments | post a comment
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I installed Office:Mac today, and I'm really pretty amazed.
We should only be so lucky1 comment | post a comment
Sometimes I wonder if I should be playing a different game.2 comments | post a comment
One has to respect Nokia because they have managed to stay competetive in the massive shifting market of cell phone manufacturing. They've been around for a long, long time, in 1993 when my family got their first mobile phone, it was a Nokia and it looked a little something like this:
And while that was a great phone (Amazingly, it got reception just about anywhere, even late in its life, well after smaller and "better" phones were available--We used it until 2001 or so which is a feat in itself, nearly a decade of operation.)
But as of late, Nokia has been trying to pull shit like this:
The scroll wheel on the iPod and various other players worked, and if the phone had an neo-retro rotary dial, that'd be cool, but no, you have to scroll back and forth through a list of numbers and that's just bad design. I'm not one afflicted by an affinity for SMS, but I can only imagine that sending such messages on a phone like this translates directly into repetetive stress injuries.
I grumbled about phones taking on non-phone duties like games and such, and I was mostly correct about it, and I was completely correct about the eventual outcome: adding abuse-prone features to a device that most every person will have, will mean that most every person will abuse them. For your review:
Feature: Custom MIDI (and later MP3) ringtones
Professed benefit: Allows you to better express yourself through a "cool" ringtone.
Actual result: You can't walk through a mall, shopping center, or movie theater without hearing garbled 30 second snippets of the hot new track from [Lackluster Mainstream Hip-Hop Performer] through tiny speakers being pressed to their output limit by people who don't actually understand the concepts of sound quality and the ancient art of "not pissing people off."
Reason for failure: Only about 10% of the cell phone using population is capable of actually expressing itself, and only 25% of those have anything worth expressing. The rest of them are just dazzled by bright lights and loud noises.
Professed benefit: Capture all your precious memorable moments, wherever, whenever!
Actual result: Capture all your hilarious drunk moments at the bar with that woman you just met... man she was hot... and that tube top... Wha- what's that honey? That woman? I have NO IDEA, I SWEAR! I WAS AT THE OFFICE LATE LAST NIGHT! HONEY!? Come out of the bedroom! Please? Honey? And other such enjoyable moments of infidelity captured forever on convenient grainy cameras that only display on 1 inch screens at QVGA resolution, no matter how great the optics are.
Reason for failure: Alcohol is great, but humans evolved such that alcohol causes us to forget the stupid things we did the night before for our own protection. Cameras + Alcohol are just a recipe for disaster, heart break, and destroyed relationships.
Professed benefit: Save money by not buying a gameboy and enjoy the hottest new games on the go from your mobile phone!
Actual result: You can play a few old games that are still kind of fun on the tiny screen with the tiny keypad, like Tetris... and... Tetris. Most all of your other choices are either desperately lacking in fun, or are next to imposisble to play on the arthritis-inducing microscopic keypads of most cell phones--keypads that weren't really designed for that kind of abuse in the first place.
Reason for failure: The fact that cell phones aren't specifically designed with gaming in mind (And anyone who mentions the nGage either never played an nGage, or is a huge loser) and cell phone companies are designed with only massive profits in mind, means that cell phone gaming will never be fun OR affordable.
I still maintain that the future of phones lies not in art-deco fashion phones, nor does it lie in 700 dollar convergence devices (that really just do the same thing as cheaper cell phones, only with a full thumbboard) but in small, mostly unseen, devices that make and recieve phone calls without requiring constant passive attention like some kind of $300 Tamagotchi. post a comment